| i haven't had a sober night since you left me. |
[09 May 2005|10:28am] |
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i dont know what to do. i feel like im hiding everything from everyone. i feel like i have no one to talk to. its like i have certain people that i can tell certain things to but i dont have anyone that i can tell everything to. i want that person to be you. i miss you so much. i couldnt go to sleep last night because i was crying. i was crying because i miss you. what happened? my eyes hurt. i feel like crying right now. im hurting so many people. i know. everything used to seem to be okay. everything wasnt okay but i felt like it was. i just want to feel okay again.
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| sc + ab = looooove. haha. |
[04 Apr 2005|10:38am] |
i love this boy so much. he is really cute. he makes me smile. a lot. its nice. hes nice. we're nice. the end.
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| i love you. i love you. i love you more. |
[28 Feb 2005|10:39am] |
i finally got my armor for sleep ticket on thursday with tasha and sova.
lets start counting down the days....its on the 18th. tomorrow is march 1st....sooo....19 days away. yess. im really excited.
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| im in business tech and im bored. |
[25 Feb 2005|10:21am] |
A is for AGE: 18 B is for BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND: its confusing. C is for CAREER IN FUTURE: famous model/actress. if that doesnt work out, i want to be a pyschologist/therapist D is for DAD'S NAME: real-dad: robert. step-dad: glen. E is for ESSENTIAL ITEM TO BRING TO A PARTY: myself. duh. F is for FAVOURITE SONG AT THE MOMENT: i have more than one. G is for GUY/GIRLS YOU'VE KISSED: girls. like 6. guys. a lot. ha. whore. H is for HOMETOWN: anaheim. I is for INSTRUMENTS YOU CAN PLAY: drums. learning how to play the guitar. J is for JOB TITLE: restaurant at disneyland. hostess. K is for KIDS: i dont want any. L is for LIVING ARRANGEMENTS: cute. retro. pretty. cool. idk. M is for MIDDLE NAME: m is for marie. N is for NUMBER OF PEOPLE YOU'VE SLEPT WITH: no comment. slut. haha. O is for OVERNIGHT HOSPITAL STAYS: i dont think any. maybe one? P is for PHOBIAS: a lot. im a scaredy cat. Q is for QUOTE YOU LIKE: i have no idea. R is for RELATIONSHIP THAT LASTED THE LONGEST: over 2 years. S is for SEXUAL POSITION: haha. idk. T is for TIME YOU WAKE UP EVERYDAY: weekdays: 7:21. weekends: depends on how late i stay up or if i have to work. U is for UNIQUE TRAITS: dimples. V is for VEGETABLE YOU LOVE: lettuce. brocoli. carrots. W is for WORST HABIT: i bite my nails. i over analyze everything. ugh. i could go on for a while. X is for XRAY'S YOU'VE HAD: i have no clue. Y is for YUMMY FOOD YOU MAKE: me? make food? ha. thats a good one. Z is for ZODIAC SIGN: aquarius. umm water? haha. i dont really know.
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[10 Feb 2005|10:05pm] |
im sitting here with sova right now and he is making me tea in his underwear.
be jealous.
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| hes acting dumb and thats what youve come to expect. |
[30 Jan 2005|08:21pm] |
tomorrow is my birthday. so many things have been going on lately and im not really excited to grow up. im actually really scared. this is the last day that i will be 17 and i spent most of it crying. yess.
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[23 Jan 2005|07:56pm] |
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let it leave you up in the air. let it brush your rock n roll hair. let the good times roll.
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| im shaking. i cant think straight. its nice. |
[20 Jan 2005|02:46pm] |
i havent updated lately and the reason is because my life is so freaken boring. ahh. okay. its not that boring but no one cares besides the people i hang out with and if i hang out with them why would they want to hear what we do after just doing it? that made perfect sense. yess. i think im going crazy. and im happy about it. haha.
p.s.~ my birthday is one week from monday. 18. finally. lets party. yesss.
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| kiss at 12? we'll see. |
[31 Dec 2004|06:21pm] |
i hope everyone has a safe and happy new year.
i am hanging out with some of the best girls ever so im sure i will have fun. yess.
now i just need to figure out what to wear....crap.
its funny how certain people can bring my mood down so fast. i love how other people can bring it right back up :)
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| and all the good girls are sitting at home with broken hearts. |
[22 Dec 2004|10:29am] |
i like to laugh but i also like to cry. i like bright colors but i also like black and white. i like the rain/winter but i also like the sun/summer. i am a really picky eater, so sometimes i just dont eat at all. i like to sleep but someone once told me it was a sign of depression. i dont like school but i like going to things with people from school. i like hanging out with girls but i prefer hanging out with guys. i like hearts, stars, and peace signs. i wish i lived in the 50s, 60s, and 70s. i am afraid to die but i am also afraid to live. i like doing drugs and one of my goals in life is to try all drugs. i have almost met that goal. i like beer but i used to hate it. i like how every song reminds me of something/someone. i want to travel to a lot of places really soon. i wish i was a little kid sometimes. i like to color and paint but i cant draw even though i wish i could. i like how my ring tone is twinkle twinkle little star. i dont have many close friends but the ones i do have are great. i used to go to troy but now i go to fullerton. i want to change how i look even though people say im beautiful. i have dimples and yes, i have had them forever(people have asked). i have a digital camera but at the moment the batteries are low. i like big sunglasses. i like flashy things. i dont like pepsi or coke. i like to go on adventures. i like to have fun. i have been told i am a trouble-maker and i laughed. i have been in love and been loved in return. i think way too much about everything and nothing. i dont like math but im pretty good at it. i like comments on my livejournal. i think im going to get a myspace. i am babysitting my sister right now. i want to go to venice beach. i threw up at 1:30 this morning and i dont know why. i like old music but i also like new music. i have a lot of people on my buddy list that i dont talk to but i dont delete them because i think one day i might need them. i was going to be named brittany or tiffany and brandon if i was a boy. i want to have a pretty wedding but i have this idea that im never going to get married. i dont want kids and i havent for a while now. i am kind of afraid to grow up. ive learned so much in the past few years but i know i still have so much more to learn. i have no idea why i just wrote all this.
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